Maybe he’s a sexist asshole who only cares about his male child, maybe he’s just as lousy with him

And don’t compare his treatment of his son to your daughter. You’re getting second-hand reports from probably biased people. All that matters is that he’s barely interested in your daughter and making your lives miserable.

Your dily already – you. Go find more people who will love her and you, and protect her from those who mean her no good. posted by viggorlijah at PM on [2 favorites]

This will affect her in the long run. My childhood wasn’t horrible – there were no beatings or anything – but my family dynamic was such that growing up I was honestly baffled at friends who cared about their parents, like, truly cared out of more than a mere sense of obligation. My dad was the jerk, but my mom allowed him to act like this – never standing up to him, and yelling at us if we tried to stand up to him.

Your guy sounds like a jerk. Your daughter’s going to growing up hating him for being a jerk, and, once she’s old enough to understand the situation, she’ll probably hate you for continually exposing her to that.

Since we reached majority, two of her three children by him sought out a relationship, and two out of three of them got burned as a result

He’s missed more than two visits, so no more visits. Let him know that you call the shots, now. If he wants to insist on visits you tell him he has to show responsibility. […]