Friends with benefits – what a sex and relationship therapist wants you to know

Disclosure statement

Chantal Gautier does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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There are many kinds of sexual situations people can get into – everything from committed monogamous relationships to a one-night stand. But friends with benefits (FWB) situations are often still seen as controversial, perhaps because of the potential for heartbreak.

Typically, FWB arrangements involve two people engaging in casual sexual activities without the expectations and constraints often associated with romantic partnerships. Unlike a fling or a hook up there is often an understanding that the situation is indefinite and that the friendship may resume or continue even if the physical relationship ends.

Different types of relationships can serve different purposes. Psychological research into FWB arrangements has shown they can be more complicated than media portrayals give them credit for. Unlike a fling or a hook up, FWB arrangements, often involve understanding that the situation is indefinite and that the friendship may resume even if the physical relationship ends.

It’s not for everyone. Recognising your relationship preference is key to understanding whether FWB can work for you or not. If you’re trying to decide whether it’s for you, take some time to think about how you approach commitment. Consider, for example, whether you have a strong inclination towards exclusive relationships. […]