This Terrifying Reason Is How I Learned To Stay The Hell Away From OKCupid

What was once seen as a cause for social stigma is now a general fact of being a single adult. And I had been one of those for the better part of a year now.

The lack of distraction was nice at first. I was finally making time to pursue my dreams, hone my skills as it were. I was getting shit done. Kicking names and taking ass. But, as most carbon-based lifeforms are wont to do, I eventually began to long for the company of a significant other.

I began my search for the future Mrs. Farrelly by embracing a more primitive method of social interaction, or, as it’s more commonly called, “actually going out and meeting people.” Unfortunately, that shit got old in a hurry.

The fact of the matter was, most of the women in my general age-bracket were already in serious relationships and this meant that the only new people I was meeting when I went out were all considerably naiset Kazaksta younger than myself; the kind of people who used “epic” as an adverb and thought Green Day was classic rock.

All of the stories that I post online are published under my real name and because of this, I thought it prudent to use an alias for my dating profile (not because I think that I’m in any way famous; just an easy target for trolls). Though, I did tell my real name to every girl I planned to meet up with IRL and even warned them that there was a good chance our date would end up the subject of a bizarre story on the internet. […]