What I Want Teens to Know About How to Have a Healthy Relationship

I wish there was a class in high school called “What to Know About Relationships” that focused on what a healthy relationship looks like. When I was a teenager, I wasn’t sure where I ended and the person I had a crush on began. When my friends and I had boyfriends, we were all guilty of losing ourselves-some of us more than others. This time is filled with so much uncertainty about who you are and what feels right; it’s no wonder they are so darn tumultuous.

Now that I have three teenagers who are dabbling in the relationship world (even if they don’t admit it), I want to share my hard-earned wisdom in hopes it will build their self-confidence around relationships. So here’s how to have a healthy relationship in high school.

1. Don’t blow off your friends.

Yes, having a new boyfriend or girlfriend is really exciting. You want to be with them all the time, but resist. Don’t ignore your friends or blow them off. You can do irreversible damage to your friendships. Don’t risk it.

I made this mistake with my first real boyfriend and, before I knew it, my friends stopped asking me to do things. They didn’t feel important and when my relationship ended, I had a lot of work to do to win back their trust. I felt very alone for awhile-and I vowed never to make the same mistake again. The first thing I want you to know about relationships is that you have room and time for both, always.

2. Don’t give up anything you love.

If you love playing basketball, don’t give it up if they aren’t into it, or so you can spend time with them after school instead of going to practice, or because they want you to start playing ice hockey instead. […]