Having Trouble Falling Asleep After Sex? You’re Not Alone

For some women, sex before bedtime paves the way for a night of restful sleep. For others, it triggers hours of tossing and turning. Here’s why – and what to do about it.

Watch a movie – any movie! – and you’ll see couples drifting off into deep, relaxing sleep right after sex. If that’s your postcoital experience, consider yourself lucky and enjoy the blissful combination of intimacy and quality sleep. But if you find yourself wide awake after nighttime sex – even if you were drowsy beforehand – you’re not alone. Here’s why it is hard for some women to fall asleep after sex and what could be going on.

Women and sleep

While studies show that women sleep less per night than men, women’s sleep tends to be of poorer quality. One reason is hormone fluctuations, which can be triggered by menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause. Dips in estrogen lead women to spend less time in REM sleep, meaning they wake up feeling less rested. Women who are mothers are also two-and-a-half times more likely to lose sleep over helping others at night and report that their sleep satisfaction doesn’t return to normal after becoming a parent for at least six years (or way longer if you ask most moms, but hey, that’s how long the study was). Add in the fact that the amount of unpaid labor – such as decision-making, information tracking, and anticipating the needs of their families 24/7 – rose an unbelievable 153% between , and is it really any surprise that women are more likely to have a complicated relationship with sleep?

In fact, women are 40% more likely to develop insomnia than men. “Women are doing incredible amounts of nurturing, caregiving, and breadwinning,” says Dr. Qanta A. Ahmed, a board-certified sleep disorders specialist at NYU Langone Sleep Medicine Associates in Garden City, New York. “And they also want to perform to the best possible expectations of themselves and their partners.” However, problems arise, says Ahmed, when we watch the news, interact online, and help kids with homework until all hours. […]